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I'm OK, You're Not So Hot: The Root of Prejudice

When a dream startles us awake, it insult. They did not show it, so I did
demands our attention.I opened the door not know, but in my righteous refusal of
to find an attractive Pakistani woman on calories, I missed an opportunity for
my doorstep. She asked to come in to friendship.I wonder how often we reject
borrow a cake pan. I let her in and told people and cultures because of our
her to look in the cupboards as I was limited worldview?Many years ago, when my
fixing coffee for my family and son was a newborn, my husband needed to
preoccupied.My parents were visiting for travel out of state. He didn't want to
the first time; my sister and her new the two of us to stay at home alone and
husband were also there. I was anxious to insisted we join him for the 1500 mile
get the coffee started when the woman car trip. I was too young to argue and
asked if I had a certain type of cake was miserable the whole time. All I
pan. I did not and told her she could go wanted was sleep.A month later, after my
to the store nearby and probably find six-week maternity leave was over and I
one. She resisted this idea and suggested had returned to work, he bought tickets
that I could use a pan like that; why to Tahiti for my birthday. Flying halfway
don't I buy one?I was incensed. In my across the world with an infant at home
mind, I had let this woman into my home, was not my idea of a vacation. I returned
offered to loan her what items I had to exhausted and sick with strep throat.For
make her stupid cake and then she had the years I harbored anger at his
nerve to suggest I buy the cake pan that insensitivity and mentally criticized
she needed. I forced her bodily from my every gift he offered. In the light of my
home.In the light of day, this dream dream, I see his behavior more clearly.
(like so many) seems stupid. But someone It's simple really: He wanted to protect
once advised that in order to unearth the his family and to give to the woman he
cause of a dream, we must dissect the loved.In an indifferent and self-absorbed
root of its emotion. I awoke enraged. world, it is often wise to question a
What was the nature of this extreme person's motive. But how many
reaction?I began tentatively to view the opportunities for community and
experience from the woman's perspective. connectedness would we gain if we looked
Could it be that she wanted me to have at a person expecting the highest he has
the cake pan so that I might bake a cake to offer?Nicolette Beard is a former
for my family? Could it be that she editor, publisher and advertising
wanted to share the joy of what if means executive. Currently, she provides
to give to others? Was the cake a insightful commentary on issues men face
metaphor for the sweetness in life that I including midlife crisis, male menopause
refused to partake?I do not know the and finding your purpose in life. --
Pakistani culture, but I recalled an Providing Midlife Men a Place to Breathe
experience I had with some Armenian -- is the only blog for men written from
friends many years ago. They too offered a woman's unique perspective.Visit "Life
me cake which I did not eat. Later a Changing Resources" for ideas on midlife
friend told me that this was a great career change.




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