| The sexually addicted person trying to
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| | intimacy issues first, then the
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| overcome sex addiction copes with two
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| | addiction. When the intimacy issues are
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| seperate problems. The first, and the
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| | resolved his chances of long-term success
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| most obvious, is using sex as an escape.
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| | improve dramatically. As I mentioned in
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| The second, and much more difficult to
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| | previous articles, the intimacy issues
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| deal with, is what I call "the flight
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| | are not childhood ones; they are adult
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| from intimacy."
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| | intimacy issues.
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| The flight from intimacy causes sex to be
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| | Sex addiction is not an impersonal
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| used as a substitute for genuine
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| | addiction like alcohol, pot, tobacco, or
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| intimacy.
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| | hard drugs. It is "The Most Personal
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| The sex addict also uses sex the same way
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| | Addiction." The sexually addicted person
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| an overeater uses food, the alcoholic
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| | struggling with any of the forms of
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| uses booze and a drug addict uses heroin:
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| | sexual addiction including compulsive
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| to escape dealing with reality.
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| | masturbation, pornography addiction,
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| In both cases the sexually addicted
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| | promiscuity, infidelity, voyeurism, etc.
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| person's life worsens. His attempt to
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| | has created an emotional attachment to
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| escape reality fails as all such attempts
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| | his addiction. For the purpose of
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| do, and his intimacy issues worsen
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| | long-term success, before the addiction
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| because instead of working through them,
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| | can be overcome, the personal attachment
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| he relies on an inadequate substitute.
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| | must be overcome first. If it is not, the
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| From the perspective of intimacy, the man
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| | sex addict will crave sexual addiction
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| struggling with a masturbation and/or
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| | like an abandoned lover longing for the
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| pornography addiction has an addiction
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| | greatest passion of his life.
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| which competes with any intimate
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| | Once the personal aspects are overcome,
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| relationship he enters. In some cases he
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| | sex addiction is no longer his great
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| becomes so engrossed in his addiction he
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| | lover. It is revealed for what it was
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| avoids intimate relationships.
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| | from the beginning: a flight from
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| When he seeks help, he'll be told by
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| | intimacy. Then long term success becomes
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| conventional, licensed therapy and the
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| | achievable.
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| 12-step program that the first thing he
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| | Neither the shy child nor the outgoing
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| has to do is stop addictively using
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| | child is doomed to become sexually
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| masturbation and/or porn. Motivated by
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| | addicted - because the intimacy problems
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| fear and desperation, he'll probably
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| | involved with sexual addiction do not
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| stop, but not for long. He'll be back at
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| | begin in childhood. They begin and end
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| it even if he stops correctly because
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| | with adult choices. No one needs to waste
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| conventional, licensed therapy and the
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| | years contemplating childhood traumas to
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| 12-step program fail to recognize that
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| | overcome sex addiction. The answer begins
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| masturbation/porn is a symptom, not the
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| | with understanding yourself as the person
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| problem.
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| | you are, not the person you were decades
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| The problem is the flight from intimacy.
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| | ago. One of the great rewards of
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| The person who is serious about stopping
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| | overcoming sex addiction lies in
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| a masturbation and/or pornography
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| | genuinely fulfilling the need for
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| addiction and achieving a good chance of
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| | emotional, romantic, and sexual intimacy
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| long-term success needs to focus on
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| | in the present.
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